Best and Worst of 2011: Movies

Best:

5) Attack the Block

I was a bit distracted in the first hour because when you see aliens attacking London, you naturally expect The Doctor to show up. But once I got over that, I really dug this film. The fact that the filmmakers were able to create such distinctive, scary aliens on what couldn't have been a huge budget, made this even more impressive.

4) X-Men: First Class

By all rights, this should have sucked. X-Men 3 was pretty awful, and no franchise has ever rebounded by going the prequel route. But First Class manages to pull it off, thanks to a surprisingly great script and some even better performances by actors who probably had better options than an X-Men film.

3) Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Wow, Ryan Gossling has an amazing body. Wait, what? Who said that? Anyway, I wish I'd seen this in a theater instead of DVD, as there's a fantastic twist (maybe the best one since The Sixth Sense) and I'm pretty sure there would have been an impressive gasp from the audience. Almost as impressive as Ryan Gossling's abs...

2) The Muppets

An unfortunate part of getting older is that fewer and fewer things can make you feel like a kid again. The Muppets succeeded beyond my wildest expectations. Seriously, it'll be virtually impossible to act like a cynical asshole for at least a little while after seeing this.

1) The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

I thought the mystery and its resolution were a bit unsatisfying, but the characters, the acting, the directing, and even the opening credits, are all so outstanding that it's easy to overlook it. Almost as amazing is the fact that if I've historically had three turn-offs when it comes it comes to women, they're A) Tattoos, B) Body piercings and C) Emaciated bodies. Yet I found Rooney Mara's Lisbeth to be super hot. Almost as hot as Ryan Gossling.


Worst:

5) Sucker Punch

The most self-indulgent piece of crap by a director since Lady in the Water. It looks nice visually, and I guess there's a seed of a good film hidden somewhere in Sucker Punch. But it's not worth sitting through to find.

4) Green Lantern

If ever there was a superhero made for this CGI-heavy world, it's Green Lantern. This should have been two hours of pure eye candy. Unfortunately, the movie is dragged down by a dull, unimaginative script and a horribly miscast Ryan Reynolds.

3) Season of the Witch

Maybe the Nicholas Cage-iest Nicholas Cage film ever. I know the guy is bankrupt, but it can't be that bad. Just make another National Treasure film, dude.

2) Battle: Los Angeles

Occasionally, I'll be watching an otherwise crappy Syfy original movie and think, "You know, if this had a bigger budget and better actors, it might actually be pretty good." For all intents and purposes, Battle: Los Angeles is a Syfy original movie with a big budget and great actors, and yet it's still horrible. So much for that theory. It doesn't even have the simple decency to provide an actual ending.

1) Red Riding Hood

Typically, even the worst movies have some sort of redeeming quality, no matter how small. A clever line of dialogue. A cool car chase. Gratuitous nudity. Red Riding Hood manages the fairly remarkable feat of having nothing. It's an embarrassment to all involved, especially Gary Oldman, who I hope was able to buy a really nice beach house with the blood money he made from this.