I was in Las Vegas for the first time recently. I came back with less than what I went out there with, but I had a lot of fun and I'm already looking forward to my next trip. The nice thing about Vegas is that the area comprised of the Strip and downtown is so compact, one trip is really all it takes to make you a quasi-expert. A month ago, I didn't even know there was a Planet Hollywood casino. Now, I know enough to recommend which poker rooms to play in, how to use the pubic transportation system, and to look utterly horrified upon finding out someone is considering staying at the Excalibur. I could probably write a dozen blog posts about my time there, but instead I'll focus on one of the most intriguing aspects of the visit.
Walking around my first night, I did what I'm sure every Vegas newbie does: Wander in and out of the various casinos, stop to watch the Bellagio fountains, and dodge dozens upon dozens of people trying to thrust advertisements for strippers and/or prostitutes into my hands.
Now, I wasn't shocked that people were trying to offer me such literature. It's Vegas. I'd be far more surprised if they weren't. But what did take me by surprise was the sheer number of people who seem to be employed by the area's sex industry. It wasn't just one guy on the end of every block. It was three or four guys (and some women) practically every couple of hundred feet, all of them wearing shirts that had a phone number on the front promising a woman could be at your door within 20 minutes. I was tempted to test this bold claim--purely in the name of crusading for truth in advertising, of course--but ultimately decided against it.
Many of these people were Hispanic, and I'm guessing don't speak much English. So instead of talking to you, they'll fold whatever they're trying to get you to take and make loud clicking sounds with it to get your attention. And they're fucking relentless about getting your attention. You ever toss a piece of bread near some birds and watch as they all swarm over it? It's a lot like that, with people walking down the Strip playing the part of the bread. You would think that if one of the solicitors attempted to hand you a flier or a card* and were rebuffed or ignored, the others, seeing this, would take the hint and try someone else. But no. Without fail, even after you've blown off one guy, the others approach you also. As if there's a possibility that between the first offer and the second or third or fourth, you might think, "Well, I didn't really want a hooker, but in the half-second I've had to think it over, it actually sounds like a pretty good idea."
* (These cards are actually kind of cool, just because of how many different ones there seemed to be. Based on what was thrust in my face and the ones that I'd see littered all over the ground each morning, I'd estimate there were at least a couple dozen of them in circulation, all featuring different girls in varying degrees of undress. If people were so inclined, they could assemble a nice collection and trade them like baseball cards.)
I'm not sure what percentage of tourists take advantage of these services, but even if we assume it's as much as, say, 25%, I'm still amazed the industry can support so many employees--even poorly paid part-time ones--whose job it is to spend hours each night trying to get people walking down the Strip laid.
Which got me thinking.
Unemployment in this country is still hovering around 10%. Tonight, President Obama is presenting his jobs plan that will almost certainly go nowhere. Well, what's the one thing in this country that's popular regardless of the economy? Sex! What if there was some way to take the Vegas sex industry model to a macro level? Just imagine, on every street in America, from liberal D.C. to conservative Provo, you would find clusters of newly-employed people trying to force pictures of naked women in your hands. Granted, it would take a massive rewrite of federal, state and city laws, and I'm guessing social conservatives wouldn't be thrilled, but think of all the jobs! I guess while we're at it, we might as well start opening casinos across the country as well. No reason why Vegas, Atlantic City and various Native American reservations should reap all the profits. Are you with me? Can we make this happen and put Americans back to work?
Okay, maybe not. But it is interesting how much money is apparently just waiting to be made off of our various vices. If we can't add manufacturing jobs because companies keep moving them overseas, and we can't add government jobs because Republicans won't allow it, we might as well start adding jobs pushing sex and gambling, because those are always going to be popular. And evidently, very, very profitable, even in tough times.
Of the countless solicitors I saw aggressively working the crowds, not once did I see anyone get upset or annoyed with them. People would either accept their offering or just walk by, seemingly unfazed by having pictures of naked women shoved towards them. The only time I saw someone soliciting on the Strip get yelled at angrily, it was a guy urging people to renounce sin and find God. Apparently, in Vegas, that's what offends people.
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