Best and Worst Comic-Con Exclusives

Once again, nerds have made their annual pilgrimage to San Diego for Comic-Con. And even though, in theory, this is in my wheelhouse, I still don't get the appeal. As best I can tell, the entire process is an unpleasant experience. First, you have to get your badge, which usually sell out in lightning speed and involve at least one major computer glitch. Then you have to secure lodging, which also quickly sells out and can be pricey if you don't get the Comic-Con rate.

Then once you get there, you have to navigate through thousands upon thousands of con-goers, all of whom want to attend the same panels and get the same autographs you do. I wonder how many people started off this weekend with grand plans of attending the Avengers panel and getting autographs from the cast of Doctor Who, but ended up settling for the Warehouse 13 panel and meeting Erin Gray.

The one undeniably cool benefit of going to Comic-Con, though, is access to exclusives, some of which are pretty fucking awesome. Then there are others that might be pretty fucking awesome, but just to a small subset of people. Then there are some that aren't in any way pretty fucking awesome.

Pretty Fucking Awesome:

Stitched DVD signed by writer/director Garth Ennis - $15

The last time a noted comic book writer got it in his fool head that he should direct a movie, the result wasn't pretty. I have more faith in Garth Ennis's debut as a filmmaker, as A) This is just a short film, and B) It has zombies. It's amazingly hard to screw up a zombie movie. It happens sometimes. But it's not easy.


Duck Tales #1 variant cover - $10

I don't read Duck Tales. But goddammit, that's an awesome cover. Also, one of the better NES games.


TARDIS Bobblehead - $20

Generally speaking, I think there are too many bobbleheads in the world. Athletes are okay, but for some reason it really irks me that I can go to USA's website and order bobbleheads of the characters on Royal Pains. I'm willing to make an exception for something as cool as this, though. Added bonus: It makes the TARDIS sound! Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh! Or something like that.


Rayola Plush (Grayscale Colorway) - $50

Aw. It's a sad plushie. A sad, colorless crayon plushie. Deep. If you color him in with a magic marker, does he stop crying?


Not Pretty Fucking Awesome:

Emilia Clarke Signed Trading Card - $100

As awesome as Game of Thrones is, and as hot as Emelia Clarke is on it, I couldn't see myself paying $1 for a card with her autograph on it, much less, $100. Even if she was naked and covered in dragons. Also, she looks better as a blonde.


Baby Doll Mini Bust - $65

Proudly display this in your home, and people will think that you're both a perv and have horrible taste in movies.


Green Lantern Movie Light-Up Bearbrick - $16.99

You don't use an iconic box design like the one from the '80s Super Powers line, arguably the best superhero action figures ever made, for a weird Japanese toy ("weird" and "Japanese toy" might be redundant) based on a crappy movie.


Stan Lee Limited Edition Package - $300

This is similar to the Stan Lee VIP package for the Baltimore Comic-Con, but this one comes with a bust of Stan Lee. Look, while I'm certainly not into every aspect of geek culture, I try to take a live-and-let-live approach, passing no judgment (well, okay, some judgment) on how my fellow collectors spend their time and money. But...if you proudly display a bust of Stan Lee in your home with the same reverence my grandmother used to display a picture of the baby Jesus, you probably deserve to have your lunch money stolen from you.