Ten Best Comic-Con Exclusives

The San Diego Comic-Con is next week. Or I guess it's just called Comic-Con, these days. It's gotten so big that even without the "San Diego" part, you can't possibly confuse it with any of the dozens of other comic book conventions each year.

I checked The D.C. Universe travel/food budget a few months ago, and there was enough to either go to San Diego, or get 100 KFC Double Downs. Naturally, I went with the 100 Double Downs. So I'll be staying in D.C. for my angioplasty and commenting on all the news and big announcements in San Diego from here.

But here's something I don't have to wait to talk about, because they've already been revealed: This year's Comic-Con exclusives.

Every year, con-goers get the opportunity to pick up stuff made specifically for the con that usually isn't available elsewhere. (At least until it hits eBay.) Some of it is really awesome. Most of it is awesome only to a very small subset of people. And some stuff just isn't awesome at all.

Tomorrow, I'll list the most non-awesome exclusives you couldn't pay me to take. But today, here are ten I'd be all over if I were in San Diego next week.

10) Crossed Mask - Free

So you want to commit wanton acts of violence and sexual deviance. But you're afraid of the legal consequences, right? Put on this mask, straight out of the Crossed comic by Garth Ennis, and you can just claim you were a victim of an evil plague that made you do horrible things. In the very least, the courts in California should buy it.

9) Toy Story #4 GET-A-SKETCH - $20

Ordinarily, I'd have zero interest in a Toy Story comic. But your $20 gets you a sketch on the cover of your favorite character by a Boom! artist. Sure, be predictable and ask for Buzz or Woody. Me, I'd go with Big Baby, maybe the most disturbing character in the history of movies.

8) Dexter Bobblehead - $15

This would have been so much better if Dexter was holding his scalpel or one of his blood slides instead of his kid. But I'd still take it.

7) Pan’s Labyrinth Pale Man Mini Bust - $70

Based on my experience, chicks dug Pan's Labyrinth. So if you bring one back to your place, and this is the first thing she sees on your mantle, logic dictates that she'll be yours.

6) Hot Wheels: Ecto-1 - $20

As an adult, this would be a cute novelty item for my desk. As a kid, and a huge Ghostbusters fan, this would have rocked my world, and I'm a little pissed off they only just now got around to making it.

5) Zombie Survival Guide Art Prints - $10

From the mind of Max Brooks, author of World War Z, come these illustrated posters for when the zombipocalypse happens. (Of course, for all you D.C. people, there's only one zombie survival guide you need.)

4) Advance copy of Simon & Kirby Superheroes signed by Joe Simon - Price TBD

You had me at Kirby.

3) Alan Moore's Neonomicon #1 - $4

I'll just let the website describe this one:

Jacen Burrows delivers a shocking all-new cover on this exclusive edition that is limited to just 1500 copies! Debuting at SDCC, the all-new, all Alan Moore, horror series spoken of only in hushed whispers for years is finally here! From the award-winning master of comics, Alan Moore, comes a brand new tale of Lovecraftian horror, illustrated by Burrows, that will leave you too afraid to close your eyes, but more afraid to open them! Available only at Avatar Press booth #2701 and get it signed by guest Jacen Burrows!

2) Devil Bacon - $10

I'm not familiar with the Mr. Toast comic that this character comes from, but it's bacon with devil horns and a tail and it's just fucking genius. This is one of the few plush toys I think a man can get away with owning.

1) DC Universe 75th Anniversary Pack: Starro with Pack of Spores - $50

WOW. This is really cool. An action figure set recreating the classic cover of The Brave and the Bold #28, the first appearance of the Justice League of America, would be awesome enough. But it talks! Buy this and take a nostalgic trip back to the Silver Age of comics, when a giant, one-eyed starfish from space was a credible supervillain. And did I mention it talks?!