The doors opened on the Metro this morning, and people lined up to exit the train. And they could have, too, if some guy on the platform didn't step right in front of the open doors, blocking them from doing so.
He looked like he was in his late 50s/early 60s. Black, gray hair, little rat's tail in back. He held his hands up, palms facing the people on the train, and kept saying, "Get back. Get back. Get back," as he tried to step on board the train. At this point, it was too early to tell whether he was crazy or an asshole. But either way, it was pretty clear that wasn't going to let anyone off the train until he'd gotten on.
I felt bad for the man who was standing right in front of him, trying to exit, because he had a really lousy split-second decision to make: Does he let the guy get away with being a dick and acquiesce, or does he shove an older and quite possibly deranged guy out of his way? Ultimately, he chose to step aside and let him on the train. I'm not sure I would have made the same decision. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that I would have lowered my shoulder and pushed right by him. So good for that passenger. He's a better person than I am.
Once the doors closed, the crazy guy started rambling, as crazy people on the Metro tend to do. And everyone else just sort of sat there, quiet and uncomfortable, as sane people tend to do while in the presence of a crazy person on the Metro.
Most of what he was saying was totally incoherent. You couldn't even make out his words, much less, understand the thought process behind them. This went on for several minutes, and most of it was total gibberish. But in a brief moment of lucidity, he did say something that I found totally fascinating.
He claimed to have slept with all three original Charlie's Angels.
And you know what? I think I believe him.
Before today, I would have bet good money that there wasn't a guy alive who could have made that claim. Even back in the 70s, when Hollywood was supposedly one big, nonstop orgy, it seems so unlikely. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure plenty of rich, famous guys tried. And if you add in all the later Angels, I have no doubt that there were men who slept with two, maybe even three Angels. (Although, if we're being honest, Cheryl Ladd alone > every other Angel combined, so quantity wouldn't have beat quality.) But the three original ones? The odds are just so against it.
But there was something in this guy's voice, a certain confidence, that makes me think he was telling the truth.
I mean, if you encounter enough crazy people on the Metro and listen to the nonsense that comes out of their mouths, the law of averages indicates that at least one of them is telling the truth about something. I choose to believe this guy about this. So if you're ever talking to someone and he or she wonders aloud who might have slept with Farrah Fawcett, Kate Jackson and Jaclyn Smith, the answer isn't Lee Majors, Ryan O'Neil or Aaron Spelling. You can just say that it was some crazy dude I saw on the Metro.
A couple of stops later, the doors opened and the guy was nice enough to hold one side of the doors open so everyone could get off, before he himself exited the train. Do Metro doors need to be held open? No, of course not. But it was still a nice gesture. And I just don't see how anyone who would do something like that would possibly lie about something like banging all the Charlie's Angels.
He looked like he was in his late 50s/early 60s. Black, gray hair, little rat's tail in back. He held his hands up, palms facing the people on the train, and kept saying, "Get back. Get back. Get back," as he tried to step on board the train. At this point, it was too early to tell whether he was crazy or an asshole. But either way, it was pretty clear that wasn't going to let anyone off the train until he'd gotten on.
I felt bad for the man who was standing right in front of him, trying to exit, because he had a really lousy split-second decision to make: Does he let the guy get away with being a dick and acquiesce, or does he shove an older and quite possibly deranged guy out of his way? Ultimately, he chose to step aside and let him on the train. I'm not sure I would have made the same decision. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that I would have lowered my shoulder and pushed right by him. So good for that passenger. He's a better person than I am.
Once the doors closed, the crazy guy started rambling, as crazy people on the Metro tend to do. And everyone else just sort of sat there, quiet and uncomfortable, as sane people tend to do while in the presence of a crazy person on the Metro.
Most of what he was saying was totally incoherent. You couldn't even make out his words, much less, understand the thought process behind them. This went on for several minutes, and most of it was total gibberish. But in a brief moment of lucidity, he did say something that I found totally fascinating.
He claimed to have slept with all three original Charlie's Angels.
And you know what? I think I believe him.
Before today, I would have bet good money that there wasn't a guy alive who could have made that claim. Even back in the 70s, when Hollywood was supposedly one big, nonstop orgy, it seems so unlikely. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure plenty of rich, famous guys tried. And if you add in all the later Angels, I have no doubt that there were men who slept with two, maybe even three Angels. (Although, if we're being honest, Cheryl Ladd alone > every other Angel combined, so quantity wouldn't have beat quality.) But the three original ones? The odds are just so against it.
But there was something in this guy's voice, a certain confidence, that makes me think he was telling the truth.
I mean, if you encounter enough crazy people on the Metro and listen to the nonsense that comes out of their mouths, the law of averages indicates that at least one of them is telling the truth about something. I choose to believe this guy about this. So if you're ever talking to someone and he or she wonders aloud who might have slept with Farrah Fawcett, Kate Jackson and Jaclyn Smith, the answer isn't Lee Majors, Ryan O'Neil or Aaron Spelling. You can just say that it was some crazy dude I saw on the Metro.
A couple of stops later, the doors opened and the guy was nice enough to hold one side of the doors open so everyone could get off, before he himself exited the train. Do Metro doors need to be held open? No, of course not. But it was still a nice gesture. And I just don't see how anyone who would do something like that would possibly lie about something like banging all the Charlie's Angels.
1 comment:
Terrific post. I, too, choose to believe.
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