This morning, I got an email from the Redskins asking me to support the United States being awarded the 2018 or 2022 World Cup. At first, I wondered why they would even give a crap. It's not like Dan Snyder can buy Team USA, though I wouldn't put it past him to try. The motivation behind the email became clear by the end, but I still don't like the idea. My disdain for soccer aside, I always prefer it when international sporting events are played outside the U.S. I think it makes it more of an interesting, exotic experience. That amazing opening ceremony aside, would the 2008 Olympics have been nearly as much fun if it hadn't been for all the athletes griping about how polluted the air in Beijing was, or Ann Curry walking around an outdoor market on the Today Show, shuddering at the kinds of things that Chinese people eat, like scorpions on sticks? I submit it would not have been.
Dear Soccer Fan,
Right off the start, I'm a little offended by this. I'm on the Redskins email list so I can be notified about important football updates. Like what a great addition Albert Haynesworth is to the team. Or that Jim Zorn has complete confidence in Jason Campbell. Also, why simply assume I'm a soccer fan? I'm guessing there's not much more overlap between football fans and soccer fans in this country as there is football fans and needlepoint fans.
Besides, as Ron Bennington said last week on The Ron & Fez Show, "I thought we won World War II so we wouldn't have to play soccer."
Do you want to help bring the FIFA World Cup™ back to the USA?
Not especially, no. But that's apparently a rhetorical question, since the email plods on regardless of the recipient's answer.
Right now, FIFA is deciding which nations will host the 2018 and 2022 tournaments -- and the United States is in the running!
Aren't we always? There are only so many countries who have the resources to pull something like the World Cup or Olympics off. That's why both events seem to mostly bounce back and forth between North American and European countries, and why the United States pouted like a spoiled child when Chicago lost the 2016 Olympics to Rio.
Now, I could get behind a petition to strip France from ever hosting another World Cup, after the embarrassment they brought to the sport. Actually, I'd be fine kicking France out of everything.
The Washington Redskins are supporting the Bid Committee's efforts to show FIFA just how strongly Americans want to host the World Cup. The Committee has created a huge petition campaign, and already more than 300,000 people have signed on.
Click here to add your name and support our World Cup bid: http://gousabid.com/DCpetition
300,000 out of 307,000,000 Americans? Less than 1%? That doesn't seem especially impressive. Meanwhile, you go to a country whose population lives and dies by how well their soccer team does, and you'd probably get almost 100% response.
That's another reason why I'd rather the U.S. not get the tournament. Here, it would be just another sporting event, overshadowed by the NFL, NBA, MLB, NCAA, and pretty much everything else. Hell, I'm pretty sure that at one point, there were probably more Magic: The Gathering fans than soccer fans in the U.S. So why not let a country have it that would actually appreciate it?
You've heard it a thousand times: Americans don't care about soccer and we don't play the Game.
I know! Right?!?
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Oh.
From our youth leagues to our national teams, U.S. soccer just keeps getting stronger. The Game is thriving and growing in communities in every corner of the country and here in the Greater Washington Region.
Come on. You can't count youth leagues. You know all those apathetic Americans like me who don't give a damn about the World Cup, and are just twiddling our thumbs until good sporting events, like the MLB playoffs or the start of the NFL season or World Team Tennis* start up again? We all played soccer as kids! It's a perfect game for kids. Then we all moved on to better sports, like football or basketball or baseball. Well, I mean, I didn't. I moved on to Super Nintendo. But you get my point.
As for our professional soccer teams, when MLS has to sell ad space on its players' jerseys in order to stay afloat, I'm not sure that's a sign of a healthy following.
* The new WTT season starts next week. Seriously, if you can, go. It's fucking awesome. And for Washington Kastles fans, this may be your only opportunity to see a D.C. team defending a championship anytime soon. Who knows? Maybe ever.
Today, the U.S. has more than 24.4 million active soccer players -- that's the second-most in the world. We also rank first in the world with 3.9 million registered youth soccer players and 1.9 million registered female players -- numbers that continue to grow every year.
Wait a minute. 3.9 million youth players + 1.9 million female players (there's nothing to indicate that these two groups don't overlap, but let's for the sake of argument say they don't), plus 400 (rounded up) MLS players. That works out to 5,800,400 soccer players. Where do the other 18,599,600 players come from? College? Beer leagues? I hope the Bid Committee isn't counting people who bought FIFA Soccer 2010 for Xbox. Because that seems like cheating.
Major League Soccer is thriving and expanding, and the U.S. Men's National Team is preparing for its six-straight FIFA World Cup™ this summer, a feat only matched by nine other countries in FIFA's history.
"Is preparing"? Was this email sent out a few weeks late? Because the only thing I see Landon Donovan preparing for now is a paternity suit.
The next step is earning the honor of hosting the FIFA World Cup™ in 2018 or 2022 and having D.C. as a host city. Sign our petition and bring soccer's greatest event back to the U.S. and to Washington, D.C.
http://gousabid.com/DCpetition
Thanks for your support.
Sincerely,
The Washington Redskins
Ah, so that's why Dan Snyder is so anxious to get the World Cup. Not out of national pride, but so the Redskins can see some off-season income. The absurd ticket surcharges that the Redskins attach to every non-football event at FedEx alone, would probably bring in millions. Plus, you just know the order for thousands of burgundy and gold vuvuzelas is prepared and already to send, just as soon as the team gets the go-ahead.
I started to say that FedEx would be an awful place for a World Cup game, as run down and inconvenient to get to as it is. Then it occurred to me that since we're talking about 2018 or 2022, the Redskins may not still be playing there. Then again, they did just install that new video screen, and D.C. doesn't seem especially anxious to give Snyder a new stadium for free, so maybe FedEx has become Washington's Lambeau Field. There's an incredibly depressing thought.
Anyway, America doesn't need the World Cup. FedEx Field doesn't deserve the World Cup. And honestly, I just want this whole soccer thing to go away for another four years so I can concentrate on a sporting event that actually means something. Like the MLB All-Star Game! As the commercials say, "This one counts." And it wouldn't be like MLB to try and deceive its fans about something.
Dear Soccer Fan,
Right off the start, I'm a little offended by this. I'm on the Redskins email list so I can be notified about important football updates. Like what a great addition Albert Haynesworth is to the team. Or that Jim Zorn has complete confidence in Jason Campbell. Also, why simply assume I'm a soccer fan? I'm guessing there's not much more overlap between football fans and soccer fans in this country as there is football fans and needlepoint fans.
Besides, as Ron Bennington said last week on The Ron & Fez Show, "I thought we won World War II so we wouldn't have to play soccer."
Do you want to help bring the FIFA World Cup™ back to the USA?
Not especially, no. But that's apparently a rhetorical question, since the email plods on regardless of the recipient's answer.
Right now, FIFA is deciding which nations will host the 2018 and 2022 tournaments -- and the United States is in the running!
Aren't we always? There are only so many countries who have the resources to pull something like the World Cup or Olympics off. That's why both events seem to mostly bounce back and forth between North American and European countries, and why the United States pouted like a spoiled child when Chicago lost the 2016 Olympics to Rio.
Now, I could get behind a petition to strip France from ever hosting another World Cup, after the embarrassment they brought to the sport. Actually, I'd be fine kicking France out of everything.
The Washington Redskins are supporting the Bid Committee's efforts to show FIFA just how strongly Americans want to host the World Cup. The Committee has created a huge petition campaign, and already more than 300,000 people have signed on.
Click here to add your name and support our World Cup bid: http://gousabid.com/DCpetition
300,000 out of 307,000,000 Americans? Less than 1%? That doesn't seem especially impressive. Meanwhile, you go to a country whose population lives and dies by how well their soccer team does, and you'd probably get almost 100% response.
That's another reason why I'd rather the U.S. not get the tournament. Here, it would be just another sporting event, overshadowed by the NFL, NBA, MLB, NCAA, and pretty much everything else. Hell, I'm pretty sure that at one point, there were probably more Magic: The Gathering fans than soccer fans in the U.S. So why not let a country have it that would actually appreciate it?
You've heard it a thousand times: Americans don't care about soccer and we don't play the Game.
I know! Right?!?
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Oh.
From our youth leagues to our national teams, U.S. soccer just keeps getting stronger. The Game is thriving and growing in communities in every corner of the country and here in the Greater Washington Region.
Come on. You can't count youth leagues. You know all those apathetic Americans like me who don't give a damn about the World Cup, and are just twiddling our thumbs until good sporting events, like the MLB playoffs or the start of the NFL season or World Team Tennis* start up again? We all played soccer as kids! It's a perfect game for kids. Then we all moved on to better sports, like football or basketball or baseball. Well, I mean, I didn't. I moved on to Super Nintendo. But you get my point.
As for our professional soccer teams, when MLS has to sell ad space on its players' jerseys in order to stay afloat, I'm not sure that's a sign of a healthy following.
* The new WTT season starts next week. Seriously, if you can, go. It's fucking awesome. And for Washington Kastles fans, this may be your only opportunity to see a D.C. team defending a championship anytime soon. Who knows? Maybe ever.
Today, the U.S. has more than 24.4 million active soccer players -- that's the second-most in the world. We also rank first in the world with 3.9 million registered youth soccer players and 1.9 million registered female players -- numbers that continue to grow every year.
Wait a minute. 3.9 million youth players + 1.9 million female players (there's nothing to indicate that these two groups don't overlap, but let's for the sake of argument say they don't), plus 400 (rounded up) MLS players. That works out to 5,800,400 soccer players. Where do the other 18,599,600 players come from? College? Beer leagues? I hope the Bid Committee isn't counting people who bought FIFA Soccer 2010 for Xbox. Because that seems like cheating.
Major League Soccer is thriving and expanding, and the U.S. Men's National Team is preparing for its six-straight FIFA World Cup™ this summer, a feat only matched by nine other countries in FIFA's history.
"Is preparing"? Was this email sent out a few weeks late? Because the only thing I see Landon Donovan preparing for now is a paternity suit.
The next step is earning the honor of hosting the FIFA World Cup™ in 2018 or 2022 and having D.C. as a host city. Sign our petition and bring soccer's greatest event back to the U.S. and to Washington, D.C.
http://gousabid.com/DCpetition
Thanks for your support.
Sincerely,
The Washington Redskins
Ah, so that's why Dan Snyder is so anxious to get the World Cup. Not out of national pride, but so the Redskins can see some off-season income. The absurd ticket surcharges that the Redskins attach to every non-football event at FedEx alone, would probably bring in millions. Plus, you just know the order for thousands of burgundy and gold vuvuzelas is prepared and already to send, just as soon as the team gets the go-ahead.
I started to say that FedEx would be an awful place for a World Cup game, as run down and inconvenient to get to as it is. Then it occurred to me that since we're talking about 2018 or 2022, the Redskins may not still be playing there. Then again, they did just install that new video screen, and D.C. doesn't seem especially anxious to give Snyder a new stadium for free, so maybe FedEx has become Washington's Lambeau Field. There's an incredibly depressing thought.
Anyway, America doesn't need the World Cup. FedEx Field doesn't deserve the World Cup. And honestly, I just want this whole soccer thing to go away for another four years so I can concentrate on a sporting event that actually means something. Like the MLB All-Star Game! As the commercials say, "This one counts." And it wouldn't be like MLB to try and deceive its fans about something.
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