Lady Gaga: The Comic Book!

It used to be that if you were a celebrity and dreamed of being featured in a comic book, your options were somewhat limited.

Meatloaf once teamed up with Marvel to promote the Special Olympics.

David Letterman once interviewed the Avengers.

And of course, being the greatest athlete in the world pretty much made you a shoe-in.

But unless you were Jerry Lewis, the odds of getting your own comic book were slim.

But that was then! Nowadays, you just have to wait your turn, and Bluewater Comics will eventually take care of you. They've published comics on people like the Obamas and Ellen DeGeneres, and upcoming issues will feature Taylor Swift and Robert Pattinson.

But for Free Comic Book Day, Bluewater chose to preview their upcoming Lady Gaga issue of Fame.

It wasn't exactly my kind of thing, but I'm completely out of touch with what you kids are listening to today, so maybe it's just me.

This is Lester. He's what I think Jack Black's character from High Fidelity went on to be. Just in case making him a pretentious music snob with man boobs wasn't enough of a clue of what a loser he is, the comic also gives him a nagging wife.

One day, Lester's watching MTV and making snide comments about the videos, and...wait a minute. When the hell does MTV play videos? This comic makes no sense. Anyway, he's watching MTV and all of a sudden, he falls victim to the power of Gaga.

Of course, he's still Jack Black from High Fidelity, so he can't just admit he likes Lady Gaga. So when John Cusack from High Fidelity comments on this strange question, Lester lies and says his niece is a fan.

Leaving the store with his contraband album, so embarrassed that he's actually sweating buckets, Lester gets insulted by some teenagers and keeps inexplicably running into young women wearing Lady Gaga shirts, as a cruel reminder of his lost indie cred. Who knew loving Lady Gaga involved so much persecution?

Lester finally makes it home and--and this is weird, since he just went through all that hassle to buy the album--proceeds to watch Lady Gaga's videos on YouTube. While wearing sunglasses, for some reason.

He's sitting at his computer table, so in the comic, you can't tell if Lester's wearing pants or not while he's watching this video. I'm guessing not.

Hopefully, the full issue will focus more on Lady Gaga than Lester (who obviously doesn't deserve his own comic). So circle May 26th on your calendar, Gaga fans!

For now, though, I'm going to go out on a limb and just say that if this comic doesn't win an Eisner, the whole stupid system is broken.