Sarah Silverman's doing a book signing at the L Street Borders this week. I know this, because Borders sent me an email this morning, telling me so. Just like they sent me an email last month telling me that Chelsea Handler would be doing a book signing at the same store. You know who also did a book signing at a Borders in the D.C. area this month? Christopher Moore, who, among other great books, wrote Lamb, one of my all-time favorite novels. Did Borders feel the need to send me an email alerting me to this fact? No, they did not.
It's not like emails cost money. Why send out announcements only about celebrity signings? Looking at the list of upcoming events at Borders.com, do I care that next week, someone named Ann Mah will be appearing to discuss her "sparkling debut novel about a young Chinese-American woman who travels to China to find food, family, and herself"? Not really. But I'm sure some people in D.C. would appreciate the heads-up.
Anyway, I'm thinking about going to the Sarah Silverman one. But here's the thing: I don't really care about the book. I mean, I like Silverman. But not enough to read a book full of her musings on various things. Sort of like how I think Jim Norton's hilarious on the radio, but not enough to read either of his books. So if I go, it'll just be for the signing experience.
I first discovered the fun of the book signing experience not long after I graduated high school, and the OJ trial ended. It's amazing to think back on how totally and utterly obsessed America was with that trial. It was really the last hurrah of the world's pre-Internet news culture and pop culture, and I doubt we'll ever see anything like it again.
And the people who were involved with the trial? They were fucking rock stars. It was like L.A. Law and American Idol rolled into one.
I went to the Marcia Clark book signing at the Dupont Books-A-Million. The line stretched outside the store for about four blocks. It was so packed, Clark wasn't even signing books for individual people. They had her at a roped-off table with a big pile of books, and when they were signed, they were put into another pile, and a bookstore employee would hand you a copy. At no point, were you able to interact with her. I didn't go to the Christopher Darden signing, but I heard it was even busier.
I never read the Marcia Clark book. It's somewhere in a box, gathering dust.
Remember the Goldman family? They wrote a book, too. I'm not entirely sure why anyone thought that would be a good idea, but of course, at the time, the janitor who mopped the courtroom every night could have written an OJ book, and it would have been a best-seller. So they did a book tour, and swung through Virginia, and even though it only got a fraction of the attendance of Marcia Clark's signing, there was still a decent crowd. Fred Goldman had lost his voice, so instead of spewing the anti-OJ venom we'd all seen on TV and come to Crown Books to hear in person, he just sat there, nodding sagely as his wife and daughter savaged Orenthal James Simpson. Frankly, it was kind of a letdown.
I never read the Goldman family book. It's somewhere in a box, probably on top of Marcia Clark's book.
In the ensuing years, I've gone to plenty of other signings. Sometimes I read the books (Al Franken, Anthony Bourdain, Christopher Buckley), and sometimes I don't (Michael Moore, Neil Gaiman, Joe Gibbs). But there is something undeniably awesome about those fleeting seconds you get with a person you like or admire, even though you know they've already forgotten you a moment later. And hey, if you don't want the book, they make great Christmas presents.
Mostly, though, if I go to the Silverman signing, I'll be hoping that no one tries to get her to sing "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" or something. I'll hope. But I'll know better. Because there's always that one guy at these things. And he's always in front of me. Whether he's the irrate conservative at the Michael Moore signing, or the guy dressed up as Destiny at the Neil Gaiman signing, or the Redskins fan who won't leave until Joe Gibbs signs his jersey, he's always....in...front...of...me.
If Christopher Moore didn't have any freaks at his signing a couple of weeks ago, it's probably because I wasn't there. If he wants, he can thank me by coming back through D.C. so I can get my copy of Lamb signed.
It's not like emails cost money. Why send out announcements only about celebrity signings? Looking at the list of upcoming events at Borders.com, do I care that next week, someone named Ann Mah will be appearing to discuss her "sparkling debut novel about a young Chinese-American woman who travels to China to find food, family, and herself"? Not really. But I'm sure some people in D.C. would appreciate the heads-up.
Anyway, I'm thinking about going to the Sarah Silverman one. But here's the thing: I don't really care about the book. I mean, I like Silverman. But not enough to read a book full of her musings on various things. Sort of like how I think Jim Norton's hilarious on the radio, but not enough to read either of his books. So if I go, it'll just be for the signing experience.
I first discovered the fun of the book signing experience not long after I graduated high school, and the OJ trial ended. It's amazing to think back on how totally and utterly obsessed America was with that trial. It was really the last hurrah of the world's pre-Internet news culture and pop culture, and I doubt we'll ever see anything like it again.
And the people who were involved with the trial? They were fucking rock stars. It was like L.A. Law and American Idol rolled into one.
I went to the Marcia Clark book signing at the Dupont Books-A-Million. The line stretched outside the store for about four blocks. It was so packed, Clark wasn't even signing books for individual people. They had her at a roped-off table with a big pile of books, and when they were signed, they were put into another pile, and a bookstore employee would hand you a copy. At no point, were you able to interact with her. I didn't go to the Christopher Darden signing, but I heard it was even busier.
I never read the Marcia Clark book. It's somewhere in a box, gathering dust.
Remember the Goldman family? They wrote a book, too. I'm not entirely sure why anyone thought that would be a good idea, but of course, at the time, the janitor who mopped the courtroom every night could have written an OJ book, and it would have been a best-seller. So they did a book tour, and swung through Virginia, and even though it only got a fraction of the attendance of Marcia Clark's signing, there was still a decent crowd. Fred Goldman had lost his voice, so instead of spewing the anti-OJ venom we'd all seen on TV and come to Crown Books to hear in person, he just sat there, nodding sagely as his wife and daughter savaged Orenthal James Simpson. Frankly, it was kind of a letdown.
I never read the Goldman family book. It's somewhere in a box, probably on top of Marcia Clark's book.
In the ensuing years, I've gone to plenty of other signings. Sometimes I read the books (Al Franken, Anthony Bourdain, Christopher Buckley), and sometimes I don't (Michael Moore, Neil Gaiman, Joe Gibbs). But there is something undeniably awesome about those fleeting seconds you get with a person you like or admire, even though you know they've already forgotten you a moment later. And hey, if you don't want the book, they make great Christmas presents.
Mostly, though, if I go to the Silverman signing, I'll be hoping that no one tries to get her to sing "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" or something. I'll hope. But I'll know better. Because there's always that one guy at these things. And he's always in front of me. Whether he's the irrate conservative at the Michael Moore signing, or the guy dressed up as Destiny at the Neil Gaiman signing, or the Redskins fan who won't leave until Joe Gibbs signs his jersey, he's always....in...front...of...me.
If Christopher Moore didn't have any freaks at his signing a couple of weeks ago, it's probably because I wasn't there. If he wants, he can thank me by coming back through D.C. so I can get my copy of Lamb signed.
3 comments:
I do not want your old Marcia Clark book for Christmas.
That is all.
I work at Borders, and I had no idea Chris Moore was doing a book signing in DC.
However, since I work at L Street, if you are planning on going, at least show up early in the morning and get a wristband, or it'll be no joy for you.
And, since I'm working Thursday night, I am pretty much expecting it to be horrible, awful, no good, seriously-contemplating-throwing-myself off bridge on my walk home kind of night.
I've never actually been to a book signing... but I HATE Sarah Silverman. Like, HATE. Her comedy, I suppose not HER, but her jokes makes me want to be deaf & blind. I'd rather lose all my senses than listen to Sarah Silverman.
...am I the only person who feels this way?!
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