Ghostbusters: The Video Game

For the past few days, I've been obsessed with a video game that brings back fond memories of the 80s. A game based on a beloved pop culture franchise. A game that, at first glance, you may not think would be any good, but you'd be wrong.

Of course, I'm referring to Michael Jackson's Moonwalker.

It took a while to find a ROM that would work with my version of MAME, but once I did, I've been playing it constantly. It's a great game that was almost certainly written while under the influence of drugs. See, you play Michael Jackson, and you can shoot laser beams out of your hands, and if you touch Bubbles the chimp you turn into a Michael Jackson robot, and you can actually kill bad guys with your dancing. Fun, eh?

The plot of the game involves Michael running around trying to rescue kidnapped children who...er... You know, in retrospect, a game about Michael Jackson and children might have been a mistake.

(What? Too soon?)

Anyway, as I obviously have tons of free time on my hands, I've also been playing another great game based on a beloved 80s franchise:

Ideally, one is able to play a game all the way through before attempting any sort of review. But based on A) How quickly I lose interest in games (other than Madden, naturally) before moving on to something else, and B) How little time I typically spend playing video games in general (other than Madden, naturally), that won't be until some time in 2012.

So really, I just have some first impressions to go on. I'm currently only on the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man level, which, if you're familiar with the game, should give you an idea of what painfully little progress I've made.

Early verdict: I like it, but it's not perfect.

First, the voice acting is wonderful. If they'd attempted this without the original cast members, the effect would have been sub par at best. Even if they'd gotten the guys who did the voices for The Real Ghostbusters, who were actually pretty good, it would still have to be considered a failure. It's especially awesome to hear Bill Murray getting his Peter Venkman on again.

The characters look great, too. (In high-def, you can even see Murray's pock marks. That's commitment to realism.)

It's too early to judge the story, but I'm leaning towards considering it a miss. Rather than attempt a new and original plot, they're going back to the franchise's roots: Gozer is apparently back again, the story kicks off at the hotel from the first film again, Peter gets slimed again, and it's not long before Stay Puft shows up. Again.

Of course, they tried a new and original plot in Ghostbusters 2, and that really didn't work out so well. So maybe they were right to shove as much from the original film into the game as possible.

So far, my one real complaint is the actual busting of ghosts. I've been trying to think of a way to phrase this without sounding lazy/impatient/out-of-touch with modern video games, but the bottom line is, it's often just too much of a hassle to capture ghosts. In the movies, it's easy. The guys got the ghost in their proton streams, moved it over to the trap, and it's all over in a few seconds.

Even the old Apple IIc Ghostbusters game I played when I was a kid seemed to get it right:

Here, the ghosts put up more of a fight, and can escape the streams with ease. Just to make things even more complicated, the proton packs need to vent after a few moments of use, rendering them briefly useless, which then allows the ghosts to get away. Even when the ghosts are actually in the process of being sucked into a trap, they're able to escape.

And I get why they did this, and that it's not really different from, say, an enemy soldier needing to be shot four or five times before dying in a game like Call of Duty. Because while it would obviously be more realistic to have him go down after one shot, it wouldn't make for much of a game. But for anyone who saw the movie as a kid and imagined what it would be like to capture ghosts, I don't think the game quite captures the experience.

Also, despite Egon occasionally shouting warnings not to do it, I've crossed the streams on a fairly regular basis, and nothing especially bad happens, much less, "All life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light."

A lot of the reviews I've seen have said that hardcore Ghostbusters fans would love this game, but everyone else might not. And while I definitely agree with that, I would add that if hardcore Ghostbusters fans are the nitpicking kind (Hi, there!), they'll probably find enough stuff to irritate them from time to time.

Having said all that, I would also say that this game is an unqualified buy for any fans of the movie. Especially since it's probably the closest we're ever going to get to Ghostbusters 3. Harold Ramis and Dan Aykroyd have recently started talking about making another one, but I'll believe it when I see it. Murray looks fucking old, and Aykroyd has both gotten about as large as the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and developed one of the biggest, most distracting bald spots I've ever seen. Ramis and Ernie Hudson might be able to pull it off, but let's be honest, no one's going to see a Ghostbusters film for Ramis or Hudson. Even a "passing of the torch"-type film seems like a stretch. So if there is ever another Ghostbusters film made, I'm thinking reboot.

Maybe if I push myself, I can get the game finished by 2011. Maybe.