No, Batman would not have shot George Tiller. Jesus...

This diary at Redstate.com by Repair_Man_Jack, pondering whether or not Batman would have killed George Tiller, makes for somewhat interesting reading (albeit, like most of the reading at Redstate, the kind that makes you want to bang your head against the wall), although it's unfortunately about 95% an anti-abortion/anti-Tiller rant, with so and only 5% Batman.

I used to post and comment on stuff from Redstate here all the time, back when I used to write about politics, before eventually deciding to abandon that for more important topics like Dan Snyder, horror movies, and stuff I see on the Metro. I still read the site regularly--occasionally, I even agree with something written there--and even though the mods and front page writers often come off as an insufferable, thin-skinned lot, on the rare occasion they discuss sports or pop culture on the site, they seem like good enough guys. Proving, as far as I'm concerned, that if we could just forget all this political bullshit like abortion and gay marriage and whether America is or is not being turned into a socialist nation, and focus on really vital issues like comic books and transformers, everyone would get along so much better.

Anyway, back to the Batman post. Honestly, I'd rather respond over there, but since you're not allowed to post on Redstate and disagree with conservative dogma, I'll do it here.

Like the Comic Book Character Batman, Dr. Tiller's shooter believed he was performing a necessary ablation of evil that a corrupted society would not willingly address.

So assuming Batman was strongly pro-life in this outlook, it sadly becomes almost conceivable that The Dark Knight would have taken the shot. But would he have acted out of chivalry and still held moral gravamen to retain his knighthood?

Setting aside the terrible writing, there are two main problems with this thesis. I'll leave the more easily refuted one, that Batman wouldn't kill anyone, for last. The more interesting question is, "Is Batman strongly pro-life?"

And you know what? I'll concede that he probably is. Obviously, this isn't exactly the sort of storyline that DC Comics has been in any hurry to address. And when they have tried to mix superheroes and politics, the results have been horrific. But I have absolutely no problem believing that Batman thinks abortion is wrong. I'm not saying Bruce Wayne is out picketing abortion clinics or making donations to Operation Rescue, but I'll agree that he doesn't approve the the procedure.

Does this make him a Republican, though? Not a chance. When it comes to every other major issue--taxes, gay rights, gun control (definitely that last one)--he's a staunch liberal. Sure, Bruce Wayne may pretend to be a Republican, but it's only part of his playboy ruse. And since there's no way Batman is a one-issue voter, that makes him either a Democrat or a liberal independent.

But where Repair_Man_Jack's argument falls apart entirely is that Batman simply doesn't kill. He doesn't. I mean...there's just no way of getting around this one. He. Doesn't. Let me put it this way: Every time Batman catches the Joker, the Joker's killed, like, a dozen people. And when he inevitably escapes, he'll kill a dozen more. And it'd be really easy for Batman to just whack him, but it's not who he is. And if he ever did kill someone, it would be because he snapped, not out of "chivalry."

Pondering whether a staunchly pro-life Batman would have shot Dr. Tiller leaves me feeling both profoundly depressed, yet also relieved. I'm depressed and saddened that I could easily envision a mythical hero of my early childhood taking that horrible shot. I'm relieved, however, when I remind myself that Batman blessedly does not exist.

Er...dude? It's not like this was actually an issue people were pondering until you brought it up. When I saw the diary on Redstate this morning, I had to re-read the title a couple of times, because "Would A Pro-Life Batman Shoot Dr. George Tiller?" makes about as much sense as "Five + Computer = Monkey."

Don't get me wrong. I'm glad that Repair_Man_Jack came to the conclusion that Batman probably wouldn't have shot Tiller (at least, I think that was the conclusion he came to; honestly, I'm not entirely sure what his point is towards the end), but was it a question that needed to be asked? No. But since it was asked, should there be even the slightest bit of confusion as to what the answer is? No.

A far more interesting question, I think, is "Would Green Arrow beat up Rush Limbaugh?" I believe he would. And I think the entire Justice League--Batman included--would help.