When I went to the Nationals game last Sunday, three things got my nerves. Aside from the team losing, I mean. I'm so used to that by now, it doesn't even phase me. They'd have to lose by something like 100-0 before I felt anything aside from the all-encompassing numbness that comes with being a Nats fan.
First, the place was filthy with Phillies fans. Stan Kasten's stated goal of turning Nationals Park into a neutral site has succeeded beyond his wildest dreams. Words can't express how wonderful it is to be taunted as you're leaving your own ballpark after a loss. If I'd been wearing my Nationals cap, I would have undoubtedly felt an urge to take it off and hide it, lest I get jumped on the way to the Metro. There were a couple of guys sitting a few rows behind me who were mostly quiet when the Nats were leading, but after the Phillies took the lead, it was "Fuck the Nats!" this, and "Stupid faggots!" that, for the last two innings. I guess that "City of Brotherly Love" stuff ends at the city limits. (I'm kidding. It doesn't exist inside the city limits, either. Fucking monsters, the lot of them.)
Second, it's one thing to ask fans to stand for the National Anthem before the game starts. It's another thing to ask them to stand for "God Bless America" in the middle of the seventh inning. I realize the Nationals are desperate for ways to get fans on their feet and show a little energy, but this is stupid. Especially since it was immediately followed by the seventh inning stretch. Were team officials afraid fans were so apathetic, they wouldn't stretch without being prompted?
But here's the thing that annoyed me the most. Inside the latest issue of Nationals Inside Pitch, the team magazine that's given away for free inside the ballpark, there's a story about the PlayStation Pavilion inside the park. For those who haven't been to Nationals Park (which would seem to be most of you), there are a couple dozen PS3s set up there, where people can play wholesome, non-violent games like Guitar Hero, MLB '09, or Gran Turismo on some really nice high-def monitors. I don't know why it's there. It just is.
The article mainly focuses on one 14 year-old boy, who I consider to officially be the Worst Kid in the World.
On the surface, WKitW (while I'm a big enough dick to go after a 14 year-old on my blog, I'm not such a dick to want his name to come up on Google searches for years to come, so I'll just refer to him as WKitW), seems to really be into baseball.
He talks like a diehard fan: "If you dare touch my Yankees sweatshirt, I will cut off your hand. If you are a Red Sox fan, I will cut your whole arm off."
He waxes sentimental about how great it is to have the Nationals here: "I didn't have a stadium to go to growing up, so just being able to come to a ballpark is nice."
His father has a partial season ticket plan. And what could possibly be more American than a father and son bonding over baseball?
Except that whatever bonding takes place only exists on the way over to the ballpark:
Okay, look. I'm not going to claim to be the world's biggest baseball fan. Frankly, most days, I'd probably rather be playing video games than watching a baseball game, too. But for Christ's sake, if your dad sprung for season tickets, the least you could do is sit with him for most of the game. If I ever have a kid, and find myself in a situation where I'm essentially paying $20 a pop for him to play video games, I'm going to lose it. I'm going to absolutely fucking lose it.
If I were WKitW's dad, I'd sign up to be a Big Brother, and then take a kid to the park who would actually appreciate it, while my ungrateful son stayed home.
First, that "seat in the park" damn well better be the one next to his dad, although the phrasing in the article would seem to suggest otherwise. Second, on top of the price of the ticket, WKitW also requires another $20 worth of food? Screw that.
I would seriously love to know where these wishy-washy parents were when I was a kid. As relatively strict as my parents were, I got away with a decent amount. If I had the benefit of being raised by these totally hands-off, "I'm okay, you're okay, do whatever you want"-types, I probably would have gotten away with murder. I don't mean figuratively, either.
First, the place was filthy with Phillies fans. Stan Kasten's stated goal of turning Nationals Park into a neutral site has succeeded beyond his wildest dreams. Words can't express how wonderful it is to be taunted as you're leaving your own ballpark after a loss. If I'd been wearing my Nationals cap, I would have undoubtedly felt an urge to take it off and hide it, lest I get jumped on the way to the Metro. There were a couple of guys sitting a few rows behind me who were mostly quiet when the Nats were leading, but after the Phillies took the lead, it was "Fuck the Nats!" this, and "Stupid faggots!" that, for the last two innings. I guess that "City of Brotherly Love" stuff ends at the city limits. (I'm kidding. It doesn't exist inside the city limits, either. Fucking monsters, the lot of them.)
Second, it's one thing to ask fans to stand for the National Anthem before the game starts. It's another thing to ask them to stand for "God Bless America" in the middle of the seventh inning. I realize the Nationals are desperate for ways to get fans on their feet and show a little energy, but this is stupid. Especially since it was immediately followed by the seventh inning stretch. Were team officials afraid fans were so apathetic, they wouldn't stretch without being prompted?
But here's the thing that annoyed me the most. Inside the latest issue of Nationals Inside Pitch, the team magazine that's given away for free inside the ballpark, there's a story about the PlayStation Pavilion inside the park. For those who haven't been to Nationals Park (which would seem to be most of you), there are a couple dozen PS3s set up there, where people can play wholesome, non-violent games like Guitar Hero, MLB '09, or Gran Turismo on some really nice high-def monitors. I don't know why it's there. It just is.
The article mainly focuses on one 14 year-old boy, who I consider to officially be the Worst Kid in the World.
On the surface, WKitW (while I'm a big enough dick to go after a 14 year-old on my blog, I'm not such a dick to want his name to come up on Google searches for years to come, so I'll just refer to him as WKitW), seems to really be into baseball.
He talks like a diehard fan: "If you dare touch my Yankees sweatshirt, I will cut off your hand. If you are a Red Sox fan, I will cut your whole arm off."
He waxes sentimental about how great it is to have the Nationals here: "I didn't have a stadium to go to growing up, so just being able to come to a ballpark is nice."
His father has a partial season ticket plan. And what could possibly be more American than a father and son bonding over baseball?
Except that whatever bonding takes place only exists on the way over to the ballpark:
There are three reasons why [WKitW] loves Nationals Park and they all start with "PlayStation" and end with "Three." The only time he spends with his dad is during the walk down Half Street. They separate shortly after entering through the Center Field Gate. [WKitW] veers left to the Nats Family Fun Area while his dad strolls up to Section 409.
Okay, look. I'm not going to claim to be the world's biggest baseball fan. Frankly, most days, I'd probably rather be playing video games than watching a baseball game, too. But for Christ's sake, if your dad sprung for season tickets, the least you could do is sit with him for most of the game. If I ever have a kid, and find myself in a situation where I'm essentially paying $20 a pop for him to play video games, I'm going to lose it. I'm going to absolutely fucking lose it.
If I were WKitW's dad, I'd sign up to be a Big Brother, and then take a kid to the park who would actually appreciate it, while my ungrateful son stayed home.
...the PlayStation Pavilion closed after the conclusion of the seventh inning. [WKitW] unenthusiastically walked to the exit and watch the end of the game from a seat in the park. Correction: he wasn't there the entire time. He left his Pavilion post to buy a Curly "W" pretzel, ice cream and a burger at Five Guys.
First, that "seat in the park" damn well better be the one next to his dad, although the phrasing in the article would seem to suggest otherwise. Second, on top of the price of the ticket, WKitW also requires another $20 worth of food? Screw that.
I would seriously love to know where these wishy-washy parents were when I was a kid. As relatively strict as my parents were, I got away with a decent amount. If I had the benefit of being raised by these totally hands-off, "I'm okay, you're okay, do whatever you want"-types, I probably would have gotten away with murder. I don't mean figuratively, either.
2 comments:
I'm a Phillies fan and I've been harassed by Nats fans at games too. And this is old men harassing my brother and I who are in our early 20s and are not being aggressive in any way. I realize Philly fans don't exactly have a good rap (what with throwing snow balls at santa and what not) but it's not all one sided. But I can agree with you that that kid sounds awful.
Yeah, in a perfect world, no one would be harassed at a ballgame. You should be able to wear another team's hat or jersey and not worry about having your sexuality questioned or getting things thrown at you. (Except for maybe Cowboys fans.)
But if harassment IS going to happen, it really ought to be the home team fans doing the harassing.
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