Metro, Teens, Rhee, and Me

There's really nothing more entertaining in the world than sitting behind teenage girls on the Metro. At least, so long as they're talking, as opposed to giggling. Giggling teenage girls are a plague. You think you've escaped it once you graduate high school, but what you don't realize is that there will always be giggling teenage girls. (And I don't necessarily mean giggling at you, either, just giggling in general. Because apparently, when you're a teenage girl, there's very little in life that isn't hilarious.)

But sitting behind teenage girls talking to one another? That's the best, because you never know what pearls of wisdom they'll drop on you. Whether it's gossip about other teenage girls, or serious dissertations on the Jonas Brothers or American Idol, or some of the most absurd relationship advice you've ever heard, there's nothing that teenage girls talk about that isn't worth listening in on. If I had the means, I'd launch a cable network featuring nothing but teenage girls discussing stuff. I'd make a fortune.

Anyway, today's topic of conversation went where I've never heard teenage girls go before: politics. And at first, I was mildly impressed, because you don't hear kids talk about politics that much. But I forgot that I was dealing with products of the D.C. public schools. So it wasn't long before "impressed" turned to "appalled."

Some of the highlights:

- There was some confusion as to whether Obama is the first black president of the United States. To be fair, two of the three girls knew he was, but the third was convinced that there had been "some other guy" a long time ago.

- All three girls were unclear as to who would take over if Obama were to die in office. The three possibilities bandied about were the vice president, Hillary Clinton, and Michelle Obama. Also, the girl who believed that Hillary might be next in line of succession, seemed concerned that there was a real possibility of Hillary plotting to assassinate Obama and take over the presidency, and couldn't understand why Obama "hired" her, knowing this.

- After eight years, if we like what Obama is doing, we can make him president for life. Again, to be fair, I wasn't sure if this was just wishful thinking on their part or a complete slap in the face to the 22nd Amendment.

Look, kids, I'm not going to lie to you. You know all the crap they teach you in school that you suspect you'll never actually need to know in the real world? Most of the time, you're absolutely right. Especially those of you who are going to earn liberal arts degrees in college. I've been a functioning adult making a good living for a while now, and not once have I ever been required to display anything more than the most cursory of knowledge regarding algebra, chemistry, or really, even basic geography. But social studies or civics or government class or whatever the hell they're calling it now, is one of the few classes it's actually worth paying attention to.

And, hey, Michelle Rhee? Maybe a little less crusading against tenure, and getting into pissing contests with the Washington Post, and little more emphasis on current events? I mean, you do run the Washington, D.C. school system. If there's one thing these kids ought to be experts in when they graduate, it's politics.