It's always annoying when you step inside a Metro station during morning rush hour just as a train has pulled in or is the process of pulling in, and see dozens of college educated, nicely dressed, otherwise perfectly civilized people immediately rush for the fare gates like the Steelers' defensive line blitzing the shit out of the Redskins last week.
In a way, it feels vaguely hypocritical for me to complain about this. After all, I'm one of those commuters who always runs down the left side of the escalator, and thinks it should be perfectly legal to kick someone in the head if they're blocking the way. But still. I don't want to use the word "unseemly," because that feels like a word a stuffy, elderly British woman would use to describe something she finds personally offensive, like rock music or interracial dating or whatever, but it really is unseemly to see a bunch of adults rushing a train en masse.
Unless I absolutely have to, I never run for a train. I've seen enough people desperately pounding their SmarTrip cards against the reader or trying to shove their farecard into the slot, to know that it looks extremely undignified. And of course, there's always the risk of rushing towards the train, only to have the doors close right in your face. When this happens, there's often an awkward moment there on the platform, as the person who didn't make the train looks really sheepish, and everyone around him pretends not to notice, even though they're secretly laughing on the inside. Sometimes, the train-rusher will try and play it off by snapping their fingers in disappointment or shooting people a nervous smile like, "Hey, what are you going to do?" It doesn't fool anyone. You still look like a jackass.
This morning, when I was approaching the fare gates, a train had just pulled in, and people were starting to board. Fortunately, it wasn't my train, but like I said, even if it had been, I wasn't about to do anything crazy. Not when another, probably less crowded train, was only three minutes away. So I was next in line to pass through one of the fare gates when I saw this flash of movement out of the corner of my eye, and realized that one guy, in his mad dash to make the train, was trying to cut in front of me.
Now I didn't know this guy's story. Maybe he was late for a job interview, and if he missed this train, he would have made a horrible impression, and not gotten the job. Maybe his kid was just taken to the hospital, and he was trying to get there as fast as he could. Maybe he was the real life Jack Bauer, and if he didn't get downtown by the end of the hour, the terrorists would have blown up D.C.
I didn't know, and I didn't give a shit. All I knew is that there was no way this asshole was cutting in front of me.
I didn't quite body check him, but it was close. I took a step forward and blocked his path with my left shoulder, so if he hadn't come to a quick stop, he would have bounced off of me. (The real life Jack Bauer, of course, would have shoved me to the ground and jumped over the gate, so I'm fairly certain I didn't stop the prevention of a terrorist attack.) He just made this weird exasperated grunt, but what was he going to do? Get pissed off at me for not letting him cut in front of me? Instead, he simply got in line behind me.
At this point, I had two choices. I could have either done the mature thing that most normal human beings would have done, and forgotten the incident and just passed on through the gate. Or I could have done the decidedly immature thing, and actually go out of my way to make sure he missed the train. I went with the latter.
It took me three or four "tries" to get my SmarTrip card to work. Who knows, maybe if I'd gotten it closer to the reader or hadn't been shielding it with my hand, it would have worked better. But eventually, despite my best efforts, it did, I passed through, and just as the would-be line cutter finally got through the gate and started to run for the train, the doors closed. If he'd been three seconds sooner, he would have made it. Darn the luck.
I was hoping he'd say something to me, but what with D.C. being the passive aggressive capital of the nation and all, he just shot me a dirty look and wandered off.
Then my mature side butted in (which I've noticed it does more and more frequently as I get older), and whined, "But...what if he really did have a job interview to get to? What if he really did have a sick kid in the hospital?"
I thought it over while waiting for my train to come, and as I boarded, I decided that I really didn't care. Jobs come and go, and you can always make more kids. Immaturity wins again!
In a way, it feels vaguely hypocritical for me to complain about this. After all, I'm one of those commuters who always runs down the left side of the escalator, and thinks it should be perfectly legal to kick someone in the head if they're blocking the way. But still. I don't want to use the word "unseemly," because that feels like a word a stuffy, elderly British woman would use to describe something she finds personally offensive, like rock music or interracial dating or whatever, but it really is unseemly to see a bunch of adults rushing a train en masse.
Unless I absolutely have to, I never run for a train. I've seen enough people desperately pounding their SmarTrip cards against the reader or trying to shove their farecard into the slot, to know that it looks extremely undignified. And of course, there's always the risk of rushing towards the train, only to have the doors close right in your face. When this happens, there's often an awkward moment there on the platform, as the person who didn't make the train looks really sheepish, and everyone around him pretends not to notice, even though they're secretly laughing on the inside. Sometimes, the train-rusher will try and play it off by snapping their fingers in disappointment or shooting people a nervous smile like, "Hey, what are you going to do?" It doesn't fool anyone. You still look like a jackass.
This morning, when I was approaching the fare gates, a train had just pulled in, and people were starting to board. Fortunately, it wasn't my train, but like I said, even if it had been, I wasn't about to do anything crazy. Not when another, probably less crowded train, was only three minutes away. So I was next in line to pass through one of the fare gates when I saw this flash of movement out of the corner of my eye, and realized that one guy, in his mad dash to make the train, was trying to cut in front of me.
Now I didn't know this guy's story. Maybe he was late for a job interview, and if he missed this train, he would have made a horrible impression, and not gotten the job. Maybe his kid was just taken to the hospital, and he was trying to get there as fast as he could. Maybe he was the real life Jack Bauer, and if he didn't get downtown by the end of the hour, the terrorists would have blown up D.C.
I didn't know, and I didn't give a shit. All I knew is that there was no way this asshole was cutting in front of me.
I didn't quite body check him, but it was close. I took a step forward and blocked his path with my left shoulder, so if he hadn't come to a quick stop, he would have bounced off of me. (The real life Jack Bauer, of course, would have shoved me to the ground and jumped over the gate, so I'm fairly certain I didn't stop the prevention of a terrorist attack.) He just made this weird exasperated grunt, but what was he going to do? Get pissed off at me for not letting him cut in front of me? Instead, he simply got in line behind me.
At this point, I had two choices. I could have either done the mature thing that most normal human beings would have done, and forgotten the incident and just passed on through the gate. Or I could have done the decidedly immature thing, and actually go out of my way to make sure he missed the train. I went with the latter.
It took me three or four "tries" to get my SmarTrip card to work. Who knows, maybe if I'd gotten it closer to the reader or hadn't been shielding it with my hand, it would have worked better. But eventually, despite my best efforts, it did, I passed through, and just as the would-be line cutter finally got through the gate and started to run for the train, the doors closed. If he'd been three seconds sooner, he would have made it. Darn the luck.
I was hoping he'd say something to me, but what with D.C. being the passive aggressive capital of the nation and all, he just shot me a dirty look and wandered off.
Then my mature side butted in (which I've noticed it does more and more frequently as I get older), and whined, "But...what if he really did have a job interview to get to? What if he really did have a sick kid in the hospital?"
I thought it over while waiting for my train to come, and as I boarded, I decided that I really didn't care. Jobs come and go, and you can always make more kids. Immaturity wins again!
9 comments:
I feel exactly the same way. Theres always that chance but when a train is approaching it seems at least half the people break into a jog to try to make it. Sure some of them have more important jobs than me or interviews but theres no way in hell that many do. Same thing to catch elevators it'll be ok if you have to wait an extra 2 minutes I promise. Of course I'd never say that to them..too confontational.
I ran for trains because I value every second of my life I DON'T spend waiting for a train in metro stations. You never know when the next train will break down (which seems to be happening more and more in the district, doesn't it?) or if the next 8 trains will be so packed you can't squeeze yourself in in the very front/back section. Thank God I moved to NoVa and have a job in Alexandria where I can actually drive to work now...I'd rather pay extreme gas prices to avoid the Metro...which is exactly what is wrong with America.
In conclusion, I hardly think people who run for trains are "barbarians". I am in no way a muscle-bound, loin-clothe clad, sword-wielding warrior. But I am someone young and fit enough to still run for a train or two if I feel up to it...which is my God-given right to do.
"Immaturity wins again!"
Bravo! I laughed at a lot of this because I'd react exactly the same (immature) way. You try to cut me off? Now it's personal! :)
I run for buses. They come every 20 minutes so it's worth it.
During rush hour trains come ever 4 minutes. not sure why people run for those.
I live at Columbia Heights. For some bullshit reason, the yellow line ends at Mt. Vernon Square at rush hour, where no one gets off or on. Green line trains that go past Columbia Heights come only every 6-8 minutes even at rush hour, where routinely half the train gets off. So, yes, I thought this was very funny, but when you see me hauling ass as I transfer through the chaos at Chinatown to make that Greenline, you'll understand.
DC isn't the "passive-aggressive" capital of the nation, it's the "self-important" capital. (eg. whatever i am running too is waaay more important than common civility.)
your right to catch a train stops, where my right to ride without being shoved around the metro begins. if someone wants to catch a train feel free, but you can't do it at the rest of our expense.
Congrats on the DC Blogs listing. Well deserved.
I (occasionally) run for trains when it's not rush hour, sure. I'm sure I look ridiculous as I am not fit in the slightest, but waiting 15 minutes for a train will ruin my day.
However, I do not begin to understand people who push and shove to get to rush hour trains. It's not going to kill you to wait four minutes for a train.
LMAO...hilarious. It's TERRIBLE at Metro Center. Once the red line lets out, mother fuckers make a MAD DASH to get downstairs. And half the time there's not even a fucking train there!
Usually it's like two or three people who trigger these relay races. I like calmly walking by them when I reach the lower platform.
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