6:05--Nice opening with the players' family members. I wonder what it's like to be Peyton Manning's non-NFL quarterback brother. On one hand, yeah, it must be nice to have not one, but two multimillionaire brothers. On the other, I'm sure not a day goes by where someone doesn't ask him why he isn't a stud quarterback.
Oh, and Rex Grossman's sister/cousin/whatever is annoying. Kind of hot, but mostly annoying.
6:13--I still don't get why Tank Johnson was allowed to make the trip, or for that matter, why the Bears allowed him on the field. I'd be incredibly happy if he blows an important play that directly results in the Colts winning the game.
6:17--The NFL Network gets the prize for the first really good commercial of the night (the one Britney Spears got rejected from). It was sort of weird seeing Edgerrin James, though. Like the rest of America, I'd more or less forgotten he even exists. I wonder what he's doing tonight. Aside from sobbing.
6:23--Adam Vinatieri is the only kicker in the NFL would can be a captain in the Super Bowl without prompting snickers. Part of me thinks the Colts did that just to twist the knife in Vanderjagt.
6:27--Even if you're a Colts fan, even if you despise the Bears, how can you not fucking love Devin Hester? That was amazing. I think we'll be seeing squib kicks from Vinatieri for the rest of the night.
6:32--Interception. Not looking good for Manning. "Laser, rocket arm," my ass, Peyton.
6:42--The Bud Light and Doritos commercials sucked. The Blockbuster one sort of made me laugh, even though I hated myself for it. The Sierra Mist beard comb over one was good. I have no idea what Sales Genie is, but apparently it makes you popular with the boss and makes hot, younger coworkers want to fuck you.
6:45--Wilbon and Kornheiser are doing a Super Bowl live blog. Well worth checking out.
6:58--Wow. I'm really surprised that the NFL gave that Snickers commercial the green light. How much do you want to bet that all the usual Republican/Christian suspects will be bitching and moaning about how their children shouldn't be exposed to two men kissing, even if it's done for comedic purposes.
It's weird. I've never actually watched a whole episode of Oprah, nor have I ever been all that impressed by her. But I still got really excited seeing her in the commercial just now. Like, "Holy shit, it's Oprah!!!" excited. The woman has a weird effect on people. I suspect some sort of alien mind control.
7:10--People all over Chicago are praying for Benson's quick return. Because otherwise, Grossman's likely to start throwing more.
7:15--Heh. I'm not sure what's funnier, that some random dude sitting next to David Spade and Patrick Warburton was misidentified as Oliver Hudson, or that only a handful of people across America even caught the mistake.
7:34--What the hell's happened to the Bears defense? They seem asleep out there. The Colts are about to take the lead.
7:42--Not only is the Colts offense clicking now, but the defense is kicking ass. As best I can tell, all the Bears' problems started when Benson was taken off the field. Maybe he's their good luck charm or something. It sure as hell isn't Grossman.
7:51--I wonder if the numerous fumbles in this game will lead to a push for Super Bowls to only be held in domed stadiums. Also, kind of classless for Tilman to run off the field with the ball he stripped and picked up, presumably so it can go in his trophy case or Ebay or Canton or wherever. It's not as bad as whipping out a sharpie, but close.
7:56--I swear to God, don't ask me how, but I knew that Vinatieri was going to miss that kick. That's four easy points that the Colts kicking team have blown.
8:09--I've never been a big Prince fan, but this is actually pretty tight. Thank God the NFL has apparently abandoned the idea of throwing multiple acts up on stage (seriously, if you have Aerosmith, why the fuck do you need Britney Spears?), and just gone with one.
Speaking of Prince, everyone should rent An Evening With Kevin Smith for a really, really hilarious Prince story. Obviously, the dude's nuts, but I don't think anyone knows just how nuts.
8:17--That was the best Super Bowl halftime show in years. And it's times like this that I especially wish that I was insanely rich, because right now, I'd be on the phone with my people saying, "I don't care what it costs, I want that purple guitar." I don't even play the guitar, but I might learn just to play that one. Or if nothing else, hang it up on my wall.
8:33--Did the Bears' defensive coordinator have a heart attack during halftime or something? Between the rushing game and Manning's short passes, the Colts are making them look like idiots.
8:38--I hope the Colts don't need that third time out. If so, whoever it was that told Dungy to throw the challenge flag might as well start looking for a new job tomorrow.
8:43--I hope Coke doesn't get any credit for having the best Super Bowl commercials in tomorrow's post-mortems. There have been three really good ones--the one with the old man, the Grand Theft Auto parody, and the vending machine one--but they've all aired before, so they don't count.
8:47--Jesus, Grossman, man up, will you? If you know you're about to be sacked, don't run backwards and make a bad situation worse. They went from, what, 2nd and 1 to 4th and 20? If you listen carefully, you can hear the chants of "Griese! Griese! Griese!" coming from Chicago.
8:50--Tony Kornheiser is really upset that CareerBuilder.com apparently retired the monkeys in ties, and for what it's worth, so am I.
8:59--I wondered where the next few Super Bowls will be played at, and this cracked me up: "The game will be televised on NBC, which will be their first Super Bowl telecast since Super Bowl XXXII. Assuming that John Madden and Al Michaels are still alive, they will call the game."
I'm sure Michaels will still be around, but there's something really uncomfortable about how excited Madden gets whenever they talk about the signature food (always high fat) they serve at whatever stadium they happen to be in. I give Madden's odds for still being around in 2009 at about 50/50.
9:01--The haters are going to hate no matter what, but the Kevin Federline Nationwide commercial was awesome.
9:12--It's cute that CBS thinks anyone gives a shit about the Pro Bowl.
9:17--Damn. John Warner just got called out during the Super Bowl by a bunch of Iraq vets. And you know he's watching the game, also. That must have been unsettling for him. Good.
9:21--Grossman just lost the game with that interception. The lynch mobs are starting to form in Chicago. Now, does Smith go with Griese for at least a series, or does he leave himself open to attack by sticking with Grossman?
9:28--They just ran a Bud Light commercial with Jay-Z and Don Shula playing holographic football. Did I really just see that, or am I high? Either way, my mind's blown.
9:31--Holy shit, another Grossman interception. I think at this point, even Grossman's parents want to see Griese get put in.
9:44--Apparently, the plan is to not trust Grossman with anything longer than a five yard pass and just hope for the best.
9:47--Barring a miracle, the Colts are going to win. Are they allowed to name Grossman as their MVP?
9:56--You can tell Phil Simms and Jim Nantz are completely bored with the game. They just spent about three minutes talking about how Tony Dungy doesn't ever swear.
9:59--And the Colts win. More importantly, Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy win.
All is right with the universe.
