1. The Giants/Dolphins game in London
After all the hype, this game really blew. The Giants seemed to sleepwalk their way through it, and the Dolphins...well, sadly, the Dolphins did the best they could. I know this was scheduled long before anyone knew how awful Miami would be this season, but come on. The NFL really thought this was the best game with which to try and hook the Brits on football? It couldn't have sent the Colts or the Chargers over there instead?
Regardless, the NFL should refuse to go back until the British agree to three conditions:
First, Parliament must pass a resolution recognizing that American football is superior in every way to their football, and must agree that henceforth, we own the name. They can still keep playing their sport, but they must start calling it by its proper American name: soccer.
Second, they need to learn the nuances of the game before they get to watch another one. What was up with the booing at the end when the Giants were running out the clock? You would think a country obsessed with a game that can finish in a tie, would be more accepting of anti-climactic endings.
Finally, this guy must be banned from attending any future games:
2. The WWE in D.C.
This one should have been easy to avoid, since I wasn't anywhere near the Verizon Center last night, and I certainly wasn't going to watch whatever pay-per-view special they were doing. But when I went to Best Buy on Saturday, people were lined up outside to meet Rey Mysterio for some sort of DVD signing.
Now, I hate wrestling. At best, it's a soap opera for men. At worst, it's borderline gay porn. But if people want to watch it, whatever. If people want to line up outside of Best Buy on a Saturday afternoon to meet a wrestler, whatever. But grown men standing in line should not be wearing plastic replica championship belts. Have a little pride, people. Please.
3. The Boston Red Sox won the World Series
This is annoying enough on its own, but what makes it even worse is that even though they've now won two championships in four years, by the start of next season, Boston fans will still somehow find a way to portray themselves as victims. "Oh, woe is us. We're such underdogs...no ones respects us...stupid Yankees...curse of the Bambino...blah, blah, blah."
The only upside to the Red Sox winning the World Series is that it makes Yankees and Cubs fans feel like shit.
4. The Marine Corps Marathon
It managed to shut down pretty much every road I needed to drive on yesterday morning. Can't we move this thing out to Woodbridge next year? Or maybe just make it a 5-K?
5. The Redskins
Wow. That was really brutal. That wasn't so much a football game as an episode of Oz. The Patriots were Adebisi and the Redskins were his terrified new cellmate.
Still, I'm not overly concerned. You know why? Because this is Sports Movie 101. As anyone who's seen enough of them knows, this is the way it had to play out.
Let's assume the Patriots go to the Super Bowl (which they will). And lets assume the Redskins also go to the Super Bowl (I admit, this one requires a slightly bigger leap of faith, but bear with me). See, the Redskins had to receive their regular season beat down, so they can dig deep and overcome adversity when it really matters.
Think of the Redskins as Rocky Balboa, and the Patriots as Apollo Creed. Yesterday was Rocky. The Super Bowl is Rocky II. And by the time it's all over, the Redskins will be victorious, Tom Brady will be crying like a baby, with only his millions of dollars, three Super Bowl rings, and supermodel girlfriend to console him, and all will be right with the world.
At least, that's how I see it playing out.
This one should have been easy to avoid, since I wasn't anywhere near the Verizon Center last night, and I certainly wasn't going to watch whatever pay-per-view special they were doing. But when I went to Best Buy on Saturday, people were lined up outside to meet Rey Mysterio for some sort of DVD signing.
Now, I hate wrestling. At best, it's a soap opera for men. At worst, it's borderline gay porn. But if people want to watch it, whatever. If people want to line up outside of Best Buy on a Saturday afternoon to meet a wrestler, whatever. But grown men standing in line should not be wearing plastic replica championship belts. Have a little pride, people. Please.
3. The Boston Red Sox won the World Series
This is annoying enough on its own, but what makes it even worse is that even though they've now won two championships in four years, by the start of next season, Boston fans will still somehow find a way to portray themselves as victims. "Oh, woe is us. We're such underdogs...no ones respects us...stupid Yankees...curse of the Bambino...blah, blah, blah."
The only upside to the Red Sox winning the World Series is that it makes Yankees and Cubs fans feel like shit.
4. The Marine Corps Marathon
It managed to shut down pretty much every road I needed to drive on yesterday morning. Can't we move this thing out to Woodbridge next year? Or maybe just make it a 5-K?
5. The Redskins
Wow. That was really brutal. That wasn't so much a football game as an episode of Oz. The Patriots were Adebisi and the Redskins were his terrified new cellmate.
Still, I'm not overly concerned. You know why? Because this is Sports Movie 101. As anyone who's seen enough of them knows, this is the way it had to play out.
Let's assume the Patriots go to the Super Bowl (which they will). And lets assume the Redskins also go to the Super Bowl (I admit, this one requires a slightly bigger leap of faith, but bear with me). See, the Redskins had to receive their regular season beat down, so they can dig deep and overcome adversity when it really matters.
Think of the Redskins as Rocky Balboa, and the Patriots as Apollo Creed. Yesterday was Rocky. The Super Bowl is Rocky II. And by the time it's all over, the Redskins will be victorious, Tom Brady will be crying like a baby, with only his millions of dollars, three Super Bowl rings, and supermodel girlfriend to console him, and all will be right with the world.
At least, that's how I see it playing out.
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