A couple of years ago, I decided that I was spending way too much time watching television. Even with my DVR, which dramatically cuts down the time required to watch a TV show, thanks to fast forwarding through commercials, I still felt like I was sitting on my couch too much. Which is weird, because in theory, a DVR is supposed to free up time by removing the necessity of always being in front of your TV at night. Instead, it just steals more of it, because you end up recording crap you wouldn't have watched otherwise, simply because you can.
So I made a bold decision: once a TV show I enjoyed was cancelled, I wouldn't replace it with a new one. So eventually, my viewing time would decline to almost nothing, and I could be one of those elitist TV snobs everyone hates. " Heroes? No, I can't really say I'm familiar with that one. If it doesn't air on CNN or The History Channel, I haven't seen it."
That plan hasn't worked out so well. Not only haven't I reduced my TV time, but it's actually probably increased. It's not that I want to be a slave to my TV. It's just that it's free, and requires no effort whatsoever, and every time I think of something more productive I could be doing, like read a book or take up yoga, I compare the effort required to turn pages or contort my body, and just pick up the remote instead.
It's especially difficult each fall, when the networks finally roll out their new series, after teasing you incessantly for months with promo after promo after promo. The good news is, most of the time, the new shows suck, and you can pass on them. Unfortunately, this year, most of the ones I've seen are actually pretty good.
Here's a quick rundown of what I'm watching:
Loving
Dirty Sexy Money
Journeyman
Reaper
Liking
Chuck
Hating
Kid Nation
Bionic Woman
I stopped with Kid Nation the moment I realized that there actually was adult supervision, dashing my hopes of seeing kid-on-kid violence, and I turned off Bionic Woman after ten minutes, because it sucks. But the rest have more or less hooked me, which adds four hours to an already crowded slate. Damn.
When I was a kid, I used to think that astronaut or police officer were the best jobs in the world. Now? TV critic. Getting paid to watch television? Oftentimes, during the work day, so your nights are free? Awesome. Plus, think of all the stuff you get to write off. A new big screen HD TV, cable bills, etc.
I have no doubt that there are a lot of people at the Post who have great, well-paying, fulfilling careers. But I doubt any of them are as happy as Tom Shales or Lisa de Moraes. Lucky bastards. Lucky, lucky bastards.
So I made a bold decision: once a TV show I enjoyed was cancelled, I wouldn't replace it with a new one. So eventually, my viewing time would decline to almost nothing, and I could be one of those elitist TV snobs everyone hates. " Heroes? No, I can't really say I'm familiar with that one. If it doesn't air on CNN or The History Channel, I haven't seen it."
That plan hasn't worked out so well. Not only haven't I reduced my TV time, but it's actually probably increased. It's not that I want to be a slave to my TV. It's just that it's free, and requires no effort whatsoever, and every time I think of something more productive I could be doing, like read a book or take up yoga, I compare the effort required to turn pages or contort my body, and just pick up the remote instead.
It's especially difficult each fall, when the networks finally roll out their new series, after teasing you incessantly for months with promo after promo after promo. The good news is, most of the time, the new shows suck, and you can pass on them. Unfortunately, this year, most of the ones I've seen are actually pretty good.
Here's a quick rundown of what I'm watching:
Loving
Dirty Sexy Money
Journeyman
Reaper
Liking
Chuck
Hating
Kid Nation
Bionic Woman
I stopped with Kid Nation the moment I realized that there actually was adult supervision, dashing my hopes of seeing kid-on-kid violence, and I turned off Bionic Woman after ten minutes, because it sucks. But the rest have more or less hooked me, which adds four hours to an already crowded slate. Damn.
When I was a kid, I used to think that astronaut or police officer were the best jobs in the world. Now? TV critic. Getting paid to watch television? Oftentimes, during the work day, so your nights are free? Awesome. Plus, think of all the stuff you get to write off. A new big screen HD TV, cable bills, etc.
I have no doubt that there are a lot of people at the Post who have great, well-paying, fulfilling careers. But I doubt any of them are as happy as Tom Shales or Lisa de Moraes. Lucky bastards. Lucky, lucky bastards.
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