It's been a while since there's been a Date Lab worth commenting on. Fortunately, this week's installment delivers in spades. (Although, since when would a trial attorney and marketing VP qualify as "a dazzling DC power couple"? Have power couple standards really sunk that low this this town since Carville and Matlin hooked up?) Anyway, on to this week's train wreck:
Jennifer: I pulled up pretty close to 7:30. Neville had already been seated. You know how the tone is set by the first move? The hostess brought me to the table, and, literally, Neville started giggling.
Neville: From the first glance, it was like, It ain't happening. There was an awkward moment -- mutual disappointment or surprise or whatever. Physically, Jennifer was fine. But I wasn't expecting a white girl.
Okay, so right off the bat, we know Neville's a dick. Well, we kind of knew that from his picture, but now it's confirmed.
On a blind date, I've found it's always best to anticipate the person you're meeting as looking like the man or woman you find least attractive in the world (in my case, Rosie O'Donnell). That way, you're never disappointed, and are usually quite relieved when they end up looking nothing like that person. But failing that, you should at least make an effort not to fucking giggle when you meet them.
And seriously, he thought she was white?
Neville: She's not a sports fan. She doesn't really watch TV -- no "Laguna Beach" or "Entourage," no "Wire," no "L Word."
Grown men shouldn't watch Laguna Beach, and no men should watch The L Word. So we also know that Neville's weird.
Neville: ...I may have to go back and talk to the hostess, though. She was a sista with dreadlocks. Definitely my type: young, cute and skinny.
How can someone so unbelievably dorky be so skeevy? (Check out his best date ever for further proof of this.)
Is this really what passes for a desirable bachelor in DC? If so, I may have to revise my opinion of why the whole Dating-in-DC-is-hard claim is bullshit.